i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
no you cant smoke seaweed
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
