Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
