You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
