in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
