Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
