2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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