you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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