so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
