I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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