i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
