No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
