Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
