dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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