I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The air was thick with penises
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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