i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
