I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
