Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
