that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
