shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
honey bunches of taint.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
