i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
