belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
