She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
