how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
