Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
