im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
