I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
