Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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