3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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