Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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