Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
