Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
