I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
