The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
