I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
