It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
