So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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