This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Couch. On fire.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
