Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
