and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just cut my nipple shaving
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm really busy with my period
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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