Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
