the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
