I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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