Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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