My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
