i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
