Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I bet he comes in French.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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