I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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