Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
After last night, I could never be a politician.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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