Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
