Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
