therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
