I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
