You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Well I just put wine in my tea
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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