he wants to bone in the snuggie
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
